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If Your Life Fell Apart Today, Who Would You Call?

March 12, 2011

What a privilege to speak this week to almost 100 women about our journey to create and sustain female friendships for a lifetime at the East Bay Women’s Conference in San Ramon, California.  The women in the audience enthusiastically interacted with us and candidly shared their feelings about our theme, Women I Want to Grow Old With.

We asked the participants the poignant question, “If all hell broke loose in your life, who are the three female friends you would call?”  To ground the question in a reality, we suggested, “If you think you have the friends you need, think again!” This allowed the audience to engage in a lively and impactful conversation. The women laughed spontaneously and asked sincere questions that expressed concerns and fears about possibly not having the friends they need when they need them.  The openness and honesty were delicious!

How would you answer the question, “If all hell broke loose in your life, who are three female friends would you call?” Stating how life really is and then looking at what we really want  allows us to grow and live our life by design, not convenience. Since the two of us asked each other this question about three years ago, our journey to help women be intentional female friendships has been miraculous.

Please share your candid response, your fears and your hopes with all of us. This is a fabulous forum, and we very much want to hear from you!

Thank you in advance for your responses and for sharing our blog with your friends and family.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Noonie permalink
    March 12, 2011 7:50 pm

    This is a great question but also a little scary! It does force me to evaluate the strength of my friendships. Sometimes I’ve been better at friendship maintenance than I have at other times.

    When my people get married, they promise to love one another “in sickness and in health,” but there is no equivalent for female friendships. We are on the honor system! Asking myself this question is a good reminder to tend to my friendships now — and to be there for others when they need me!

    I have a handful of girlfriends from various phases of my life — all-girls high school, college, working as a writer/editor, and now as the mom of an 11-year-old boy. I could call on a few girlfriends from any phase — and believe me, I have! — and I know they have my back. Most recently, moms whose kids are at our son Nicky’s school have been a valued circle, as we share the ups and downs of fifth grade, and help each other.

    I love Girl Power!

  2. March 15, 2011 1:08 pm

    I saw a great greeting card that said it well. It’s two young girls smiling and talking and inside it says: You have saved me SO much money over the years in therapy!

    Friends are so great to listen to us when we’re sad or angry and celebrate with us when we’re happy. My friends and I tend to have a mutual admiration society — which is great, since the rest of the world seems to want to bring us down.

    Like Noonie, I have friends from the various phases of my life, and it’s great to share different memories with each of them. Thanks for bringing them all to mind with this question.

  3. Karen Pecor Hill permalink
    March 15, 2011 6:44 pm

    My life did fall apart 8 years ago when my husband of 18 years died from cancer. I feel that the answer to the question “Who would you want by your side?” changes with time. When something catastrophic happens in your life the women you want by your side are the women who know you best, be it your sisters, your friends or your co-workers or probably all of the above. And for me that is exactly who held me up and gave me strength. Because of these women I survived and have gone on to find a wonderful new husband and extended family. My sons and I are happy and thriving. Of course this never diminishes the loss we suffered.

    The one thing I didn’t expect from the “friends” was the change in attitude when I did find my “new man”. It seems that those that knew you then are less then accepting of your happiness now. I guess when friends know you with one person they have a hard time accepting the new person in your life. Non of this came from my sisters (family) or my co-workers but just the friends that I thought would be there through the bad and the “new good”.

    So I guess my answer to the question who do I want by my side is “Those who accept me for who I was and those that accept me for who I am now.”

    • March 30, 2011 7:59 pm

      Exactly right, Karen! We definitely want women in our life who will grow with us, change with us, and allow us to be who we are now! I so appreciate all you bring to my life!

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