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A Moment of Friendship

March 30, 2011

Recently, Diane tried on boots at her favorite department store.  Shopping alone, she just wasn’t sure how a pair of boots looked on her.  Darn.  Where was her shopping accomplice, Noonie, or her fashionista sister, Karen?  She needed a friend’s input.  Diane looked around to see who could help and spotted another woman shopping alone.

“Would you mind giving me your opinion on these boots?” she asked the  shopper.  “I’m not sure if they’re right for work.”

The woman quickly looked at the boots and back at Diane and dismissively said, “It’s all a matter of personal taste; I’m not giving my opinion.”

Slap.  Ouch. Wow. Diane wasn’t going to hold the woman accountable if she bought the boots and later regretted it.  Couldn’t she have offered, “I think you can do better,” or “They’re cute, but I’m not sure I’d wear them to work”?  Diane didn’t get the boots — or any support.

Two weeks later, while whiling away some time before a dinner meeting, Diane spied another pair of boots in a big department store.  Though she’s bought many shoes solo, this boot too had a unique look.  Since, again, she was without a friend’s feedback, she tried once more to solicit female input from someone other than the sales clerk. This time, she saw two friends happily trying on shoes.

“Mind if I ask you what you think of these boots?  I don’t have my girlfriend with me tonight, and I’d value your input.  What about  the buckle?  Would you wear them?”

Happily, the women told it like they saw it.  They liked the look and the side buckle.  “Go for it,” they said.  “We know what it’s like to shop without your girlfriend!”

After Diane purchased the boots, she passed the women in the aisle.  “Did you get the boots?” one cheerfully asked.

“Sure did, and thanks for your opinion!”

The women smiled and gave Diane a thumbs-up.

What a difference a friendship attitude makes!  These women had been friends for an instant, providing Diane the kind of sisterhood you crave when your own friend isn’t around for support.

How can we be “an instant friend” to other women?  Perhaps it’s making small talk in the grocery store line, complimenting a woman that the clothes she’s trying on look really great, or consoling the mother of a crying child.  It doesn’t take much to be a friend to another woman who appears in need of a “moment of friendship,” but what a difference it can make not only to them but to us as well.  When’s the last time you were part of an “instant friendship”?  What happened and how did you feel that experience was for you and for her?  We can’t wait to hear!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. March 30, 2011 8:18 pm

    Recently, I was at a local clothing store trying on dresses for a few summer events coming up. A woman in the dressing room asked me for advice on an outfit she was interested in and we got to talking. She told me about some great upcoming travel plans she had and we shared our experiences traveling abroad. It was only a brief chat but it was wonderful to have such a friendly conversation. I think we should all be aware of our “friendship attitudes” and how even the shortest of conversations can leave a lasting imprint on others.

    PS I think your blog is wonderful and I look forward to reading you in print in the near future!

    • April 4, 2011 4:40 pm

      It makes a huge difference when we are thinking of others and not just in our own little worlds. We never know what can open up not only in the moment but for years to come.
      Anyone have any stories of how you met someone coincidentally and then the relationship progressed to a dynamic and inspiring friendship? Please share with us.

  2. Patrice permalink
    April 14, 2011 8:08 pm

    I love the notion of a Moment of Friendship. I ‘ve experienced these many times over the years, and believe that people really connect when there is genuine interest shown. I do 🙂

  3. Patrice permalink
    April 14, 2011 8:14 pm

    I wanted to comment about the first shopper. She is, unfortunately, one of those women who does not like to give of herself. Individuals like her, will often find themselves lonely and bitter. I hope that she becomes more comfortable being a friend.

  4. Leslie permalink
    May 9, 2011 6:50 am

    So many times I have had those brief exchanges with others and they have felt like little angels sent to brighten my day. I never thought of them as instant friendships, but will now. FUnny how just naming something clarifies. It validates the experience. thanks for that.

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