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Are You OK?

May 28, 2011

Don’t you love it when you are dealing with an issue, concern or have an upset and a girlfriend asks, “Are you OK?”

I am so appreciative of my female friends when they ask me this question. It assures me that someone is actually interested in how I’m faring. It demonstrates to me that a friend has taken the time to interrupt their own “auto pilot” to focus on me.  The other day I had this experience. At a training, a friend asked me that question and told me I looked really tired. At first, there was a worry that I looked bad, but then I did a quick inventory of my week and realized I was really, really tired, and it physically showed. My friend’s comment was a reminder to me that I needed to slow down and recharge my battery, so to speak, rather than just push on and ignore the apparently blatant signs.

When I ask the question “Are you OK?” I’m always happy I did. Why?  Because I always win in my commitment to friendship no matter what the response.  Just think about it. If I see a certain expression on my friend’s face or a set of mannerisms that I know are foreign to her “normal” expressions or behaviors, that simple question, “Are you OK?” shows that I’m paying attention and I care. Whether her response is “Yes, I’m fine” or “No, things are really hectic,” the friendship is growing to new level.

Where are you proactive in developing your friendships by asking the question, “Are you OK?”

What openings for contribution and genuine friendship have you generated with that simple question?  Or, are there other equally powerful questions you like to ask?

What outcomes have you experienced by asking this innocent and caring question?

We would love to hear your stories.

Thank you in advance.

Margaret

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. May 29, 2011 2:19 pm

    What a basic yet powerful question! Yes, I have asked it of many females friends over the years and received various answers — all candid and sincere.

    Recently, one of my female friends from Tick Talk Toastmasters, seemed stressed out and preoccupied. When I asked how she was, this lady admitted that she was filled with anxiety due to increasing pressures and deadlines in her work. She had never mentioned these before. I listened closely and was able to comfort her along with using humor. As a result, I I felt as good or better than she did afterwards!

    • May 31, 2011 7:27 am

      Being able to support other women and just “get” their concerns, really lifts my spirits along with my friends. I find it’s time well spent and appreciate the opportunity to be engaged and caring.

  2. May 30, 2011 8:41 am

    It only takes a moment but don’t we all like the feeling when we know someone cares. I’m thinking about taking this on as a practice. Margaret

  3. May 30, 2011 9:52 pm

    I’ll tell ya’. I usually don’t say what is going on with me in fear of being a downer. Am I the only one that answers “yes, everything is well”, when that is not the truth at all. Yet, I want to know if my girlfriends need me to talk to, cry to or just be with.

  4. Elizabeth permalink
    May 31, 2011 8:09 am

    This just shows how girlfriends offer more than companionship. Friends are moral support… a network of love and help. Whenever my friends ask, I’m so thankful that someone on this huge planet notices what’s going on in my life and that they care!

  5. Amanda permalink
    June 4, 2011 5:36 pm

    I know exactly how that feels to have a friend who knows you so well and can see straight through the mask. It means so much to have someone who cares enough to stop and check in on you. I try to be a good friend and do the same for my best friends. It’s a great time to share personal struggles and have someone who genuinely cares to listen.

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