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Reconnecting With Old Friends

July 18, 2011

Reconnecting With Old Friends

What does it take to reconnect with old friends? Recently I reconnected with a dear friend that has been in and out of my life for the last 20 years. It wasn’t that we didn’t like each other. It wasn’t that we didn’t have a significant chemistry between us. It was that the circumstances of life would weave us in and out of each other’s lives and when those circumstances did bring us together, our love and respect for each other was alive and mutual.

Recently we took our friendship to a new level. My friend reached out to me when she was attending a conference in my home city of San Diego. With deliberation, we made our schedules work so that we could enjoy lunch together. During that lunch we were once again restored to our love for each other but this time we decided to take our friendship to a new level. When I was sharing about the book “Women I Want to Grow Old With” and its origin, we both saw that what could be added to our friendship was a level of “intentionality”. We agreed that we were no longer willing to let circumstances weave us in and out of each other’s lives. We both wanted to pursue the relationship and the enjoyment of our relationship with deliberate intention.

The lunch ended with a new and exciting future that we both are ready to create. We are clear that our tendency to become absorbed in “making life happen”, “producing results” and even “going with the flow” is not going to keep the desire for an even closer friendship alive. With a firm promise to each other, we committed to designing a structure to keep us on track with our intention to grow old together.

Where have you settled for friendships that come in and out of your life? What is the next step for you to take to put a friend back into your life with intention?


4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 19, 2011 5:38 am

    Keep us posted – do you have plans to get together soon?

    • August 3, 2011 6:02 pm

      Terrie, I’m making the necessary moves to stay in communication. It really takes understanding on my part and a realization that the feelings are there and real between us even if we don’t speak or meet regularly. Margaret

  2. August 2, 2011 10:58 am

    I think you hit the nail on the head with words like “intention” and “deliberate”.

    Too often we let more obligatory relationships (i.e. work, in-laws, community, etc) take the higher precedence and percentage of our time over even our dearest friends. Sometimes the more enjoyable “voluntary” friendships as you describe can actually feel like a luxury.

    And yet, like everything which helps us be happier, healthier and more fulfilled – these friendships are a crucial part of life for which we simply MUST make the time. Prioritize. Deserve and believe we deserve. Do, be, have and enjoy.

    • August 3, 2011 6:05 pm

      I couldn’t agree more with you, Charlene. I just celebrated my Birthday and getting so many loving Birthday wishes made all the difference. One minute I’m just thinking about getting old and the next moment I am filled with love for my friends and for what it takes to express your love and appreciation for another. Margaret

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